Food for thought

The primary reason for best laid plans to go wrong on a long weekend is that you sleep till late morning. When I got up at 10:00 AM on Saturday morning I knew inwardly that my plans for shopping ahead of my trip to the USA would turn up to nothing. Hence, I found myself once again in the office, researching on how to drive in the USA. And not surprisingly, Moinu too turned up. In the whiff of the moment, we decided to head out for lunch. Moinu suggested 'Sinbad' in ITPL, but I felt it too gaudy for a routine Saturday lunch. Finally, after a round of negotiation, I agreed to his suggestion of Bhagini.

Bhaginis are a unique phenomenon. These are restaurants or restaurant look-alikes that seem to inhabit the suburb of West Bangalore. They can be frequently spotted in this locality, every few kilometers, especially on the Outer Ring Road. So when he said "Let's go to Bhagini", it left me wondering which one he was referring to. There was one just around the corner from our office. But we drove for some time, before he pulled up opposite to the Innovative Multiplex in Marathalli. My curiosity was answered when he pointed to a three or four storeyed building with a glass facade like one of those small scale software companies - Bhagini Palace.

Those who are familiar with these Bhaginis would instantly recognize one of their ilk, if they met them on the road. The prominent feature of any Bhagini is a gaudy, yet boring neon sign announcing its name. It seems to take up the whole space of the restaurant. As you step in, you are greeted with a fountain like structure that gushes out water. At night, the whole place is lit up with those little party lights, like a cheap tourist attraction. Inside a Bhagini, you are likely to find three different seating arrangements. One is the usual rectangular restaurant hall, that caters to some umpteen tables. There is also that long hall which runs from one end of the restaurant to the other, with tables next to each other and can be readily converted into one big table catering 50-odd software engineers ever on the look-out for cheap team lunch options to save company money. There there is the "upstairs" option - usually popular for evening get-togethers with liquor (As has been the case whenever i've been there).

That being the case, it definitely came as a surprise that Bhagini Palace did not follow the design standards used for the rest of the Bhaginis. I confessed to Moinu immediately that it was the first time I was visiting this place. The interior had more of a Shanthi Sagar look - immaculately (or trying to be) dressed waiters trying their best to accommodate the crowd on those cushion chairs with ornate metal. Each table had four folded banana leaves - in preparation for the meal to be served on them. Bhagini serves mainly Andhra cuisine. Their menu card does lay claim that they are adept at serving any cuisine, but i have not really been brave enugh to try them out. As far as time goes, i remember eating only one dish from these places - the regular Andhra meal. My memories of Andhra meals date back to the time I spent in Chennai, where we used to eat that delicious dinner of Andhra meals - The paruppupodi and the dal curry being my favourites - from the T-Nagar Mess - a place which if I described would make the girls who inhabit the software industry cringe with shock and shriek "how unhygienic!"

Now coming back to the Bhagini, there are a few characteristic traits to this place. By default all the orders are considered to be for Andhra meals, unless specified otherwise. Perhaps this would explain the existence of banana leaves. The next is that more than one waiter is eager to take your order (though the eagerness stops there). The species that inhabits the Bhagini the most is the one that infests this planet by hoards and has become a threat to the planet's very existence - the Software Engineer. Rarely a moment goes by when you don't hear a conversation from a nearby table, that doesnot contains words such as "issue", "object" and "hierarchy". The place sometimes gives you a feel that it is a breeding ground for the species where they multiply without control - akin to one of those In-Gen Labs in Jurassic Park.

The fourth, and foremost feature about the place is the long processing time. From the time you give the order to the umpteenth waiter who surrounds you to the time when you catch hold of a stray waiter and negotiate with him to serve your meal, governments could rise and fall in Djibouti. "Perhaps it is because of the Omelette we ordered" claimed Moinu as we waited for ages. The Omelette came, but still there was no sign of the food. It took so long that I have forgotten what we discussed (neither girls nor office politics - those are two topics i can never forget). "And people complain about us exceeding MPT in Message Processing!" growled Moinu finally. And we weren't the only ones complaining. "Meals? Sir, it would take minimum half an hour for us to serve!" said the beaming headwaiter to a family who had just walked in. It was not surprising that they chose to disappear immediately.

The food when it came was nothing to complain for, perhaps because I was already hungry. As the famous saying goes in Malayalam, "gathi ketta puli pullum thinnum" (A hungry tiger would even resort to eating grass). It never came down to eating grass though, as I finally got to gobble up my paruppupodi and dal curry mix - enough quantity to fulfil the hunger of a dozen Ethiopian kids. It had been quite some time since i'd had Andhra food, not to mention from Bhagini. As they claim in their website, "They are ready to give good quality of tastee dishes and bar items with good service. By the way they requires good satisfaction of routine of customers. There are 75 workers and staff working in the restaurant. The speciality of the restaurant is available all kinds of drinks."

Stanley Kubrick fans would swear by the name of "The Shining" - perhaps the best horror movie ever made in Hollywood - based on Stephen King's book of the same name, about a hotel which houses an unspoken evil. One of these Bhaginis would serve well as a backdrop if some smartass Bollywood producer took it upon himself to make an Indian copy of the movie.