One thing that we love about our trips is to see people make a fool of themselves...(we call them "champu"s for obvious reasons). This time though i did not have to go far.
It all happened because of a trip. Late night arrival on Sunday meant late waking up, forcing me to take the Volvo bus to office. Usually, I would have taken the day off and slept peacefully, but that day, I had to reach office - for the sake of a free book at a book reading session.
The nuances and the drawls of the Punjabi accent cannot be reproduced here. Hence I take the liberty of abridging and translating the following to suit my limited English skills.
These two sardars get in from the Leela Palace bus stop. Both are talking loudly enough to be heard above the decibel levels of the radio in the bus. Sardar1 sits down in the front row (and slowly passes out of our story, except for some notable reference). Sardar2 finds that one of the seats in the row in front of me is vacant.
Now, the other seat in this row is occupied by one of those typical software geek guys like me - you know the ones: immaculately dressed (though my wife would disagree), ID hanging out on their chest, typically uninterested in everything around them, even in the music blaring in their ears from their i-phones.
What happened next, sounded something like this.
While sitting down, Sardar2 stamps on the foot of our geek guy. Geek guy yelps in pain and looks at Sardar2 indignantly.
"Kya bhai? Bus hai na? Aisa ho jata hai...chilla kyun rahe ho?"
Geek guy doesn't bother to fight. His attention turns back to the song on the i-phone.
Sardar2 continues his conversation with Sardar1(ah! the notable reference) seated two rows in front of him, in the same animated tone. In between, he turns to Geek guy and asks some pointless questions. Geek guy just politely nods.
Geek guy unplugs his phone from his ear, and is about to put it into his pocket, when Sardar2's curiosity is piqued.
"Yeh kya? naya phone hai?" (apparently the guy's never heard of and has not gone gaga over an i-phone. I guess not everyone is an American or a wanna-be American)
Geek: "Haan, i-phone"
Sardar2: "Kya kar sakte ho?"
Geek: Something illegible, but i hope he said that you could make a phone call.
Sardar2: "Dikhao!" and lo! The phone was in his hand.
Geek seemed to be vexed, but chose not to vent his anger. He obliged by explaining all the features (trust a geek to do that. Never ever ask us what can be done with any gadget).
Apparently Sardar2 was unconvinced because he couldn't find a keypad. "Phone kaise karte hai".
Indignation grows, but our geek acts according to how he is expected to. He shows sardar2 the keypad.
Before you could even say "Ambikapuram Ambujam Maami", Sardar punches a number and makes a call. From the conversation, I could make out that it was to some near and dear one.
Indignation becomes shock. Geek snatches the phone back.
Sardar2 is non-chalance personified: "Achha phone hai!"
Pointless questions continue. Geek guy just politely nods.
A few stops later, the pink-faced geek guy has reached his destination. He gets up, i-phone safely tucked inside, and gives Sardar2 an almighty stamp on the foot. Sardar2 yells out in agony, loud enough to be heard in the outer echelons of the universe.
Indignation and non-chalance have now changed faces. As all of us watch, Geek guy turns to Sardar2 and remarks:
"Bus hai na? Ho jata hai."
When I get out later, Sardar2 is still massaging his foot.
Disclaimer: This is not a Sardar joke. It actually happened once upon a time in a volvo. Stamping someone's foot and laughing at them wince in pain is classified as a joke only in Tamil movies.
